Daughters meet fellow daughter, teacher, speaker, writer, and former nurse, Valeri Miller. Valeri knows caregiving all too well. She’s cared for her grandmother, mother-in-law, father-in-law and father – sometimes all at the same time- for the past 17 years. She left her career as a nurse in order to stay home and nurse her relatives. Through it all – her faith has kept her grounded, and her passion for writing led her to keep a journal of the many lessons she learned through these experiences.
Valeri has been married to Dr. John Miller (a family physician in Seneca, SC), for over 30 years and is the mother of two grown children and one grandchild. Her transformative experience as a family caregiver, background as a nurse and deep commitment to her Christian faith has led her to create a Christian-based training for individuals and groups that encompasses the physical, emotional, social and spiritual aspects of a person and the caregiving experience. Her following essay on ‘weariness’ provides you with a feel for the way she interweaves the emotions faced by caregivers with relevant scriptures.
“Weariness – a caregiver’s mantra. In this day of ‘running to and fro’, there never seem to be enough hours in the day to accomplish all we are required to do or would like to have done. When our children are young, we pray for the day they will grow up and move out on their own. When our parents grow old, we wonder how much longer they will be with us.
The similarities: we are both caring for those who need help. The difference is the children gradually become less dependent on the caregiver while the parent becomes more dependent. Both ends of the spectrum seem long and arduous when you are going through them, but after it is over, it only took a minute.
If it is beautiful outside, but you are ‘stuck inside’ or too busy ‘surviving’ to enjoy the best weather of the year, how do you cope with the stress and frustration of your situation? You don’t! You embrace it knowing this will not last forever. Make yourself a cup of coffee or tea and sit with your loved one just enjoying the moment. Squeeze every moment from your busy or not so busy life with your loved one and treasure it today. Tomorrow will wait!”
“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.” (Matthew 6:34)
Please note: Daughters Unite welcomes daughters of all faiths, race, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation and political persuasions. Our sole mission is to unite daughters bound by the experience of caregiving. We’re thrilled to have daughter, Valeri, representing the Christian faith tradition. If there are daughters out there who represent other faith traditions –please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We’d love to hear from you!